All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.
%%
All the wastes in a year from a nuclear power plant
can be stored under a desk.
 - Ronald Reagan, quoted in "Burlington Free Press",
 15 February 1980
%%
All the world's an analog stage, and digital computers play only
bit parts.
%%
All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
		-- Sean O'Casey
%%
All the world's a stage.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
All the world's a VAX,
And all the coders merely butchers;
They have their exits and their entrails;
And one int in his time plays many widths,
His sizeof being N bytes.  At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the Regent's arms.
And then the whining schoolboy, with his Sun,
And shining morning face, creeping like slug
Unwillingly to school.
		-- A Very Annoyed PDP-11
%%
All they [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes
spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to
which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in
session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.
                                -- H. L. Mencken
%%
All things are only transitory.
 - Goethe
%%
All things are possible except skiing thru a revolving door.
%%
All things are subject to fixed laws.
                                -- Marcus Manilius
%%
All things being equal, all things are never equal.
                                -- Marshall L. Smith
%%
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable
alternative.
%%
All things dull and ugly, All creatures short and squat,
	All things rude and nasty, The Lord God made the lot;
Each little snake that poisons, Each little wasp that stings,
	He made their brutish venom, He made their horrid wings.
All things sick and cancerous, All evil great and small,
	All things foul and dangerous, The Lord God made them all.
Each nasty little hornet, Each beastly little squid.
	Who made the spikey urchin? Who made the sharks?  He did.
All things scabbed and ulcerous, All pox both great and small.
	Putrid, foul and gangrenous, The Lord God made them all.
		-- Monty Python's Flying Circus
%%
All things now enjoyed by civilization have been created by some man and
sold by another man before anybody really enjoyed the benefits of them.
                                -- James G. Daly
%%
All things whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, do ye even
so to them.
                                -- Matthew VII, 12
%%
All this fuss about sleeping together.  For physical pleasure I'd
sooner go to my dentist any day.
-- Evelyn Waugh, 1930
%%
All this passion over a machine?
    -- Capt. Louvois, "The Measure of a Man", stardate 42523.7
%%
All those things which are now held to be of the greatest antiquity,
were at one time new; and what we today hold up by example, will rank
hereafter as precedent.
                                -- Tacitus
%%
All those who are opposed to the plan I am about to propose will reply
by saying "I resign."
%%
All those who dread uncertainty either because of timidity or from
conventional-mindedness or for fear of material loss are enlisted
under the conservative standard.
				-- Arthur M. Schlesinger, Sr. (1888-?)
%%
All three girls, medalists in the Commonwealth Games, continue
their duel.
-- Peter Matthews
%%
All tragedies are finished by death, All comedies are ended by a
marriage.
-- Lord Byron
%%
All trends towards Chaos.
%%
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
%%
All warranty and guarantee clauses become void upon payment of
invoice.
-- Murphy's law
%%
All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers ... Each one owes
infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in
which he was born.
                                -- Francois Fenelon
%%
All welfare and adversity that come to man and other creatures come
through the Seven and the Twelve.  Twelve signs of the Zodiac, as the
Religion says are the twelve commanders on the side of light; and the
seven planets are said to be the seven commanders on the side of
darkness.  And teh seven planets oppress all creation and deliver it
over to death and all manner of evil: for the twelve signs of the Zodiac
and the seven planets rule the fate of the world.
                                -- The Menok i Xrat
%%
All who have meditated on the art of governing mankind have been
convinced that the fate of empires depends on the education of youth.
                                -- Aristotle
%%
All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy, and Jill a rich
widow.
%%
All wrong-doing is done in the sincere belief that it is the best
thing to do.
-- Arnold Bennet
%%
All you have to do to see the accuracy of my thesis is look around
you.  Look, in particular, at the people who, like you, are making
average incomes for doing average jobs -- bank vice presidents,
insurance salesman, auditors, secretaries of defense -- and you'll
realize they all dress the same way, essentially the way the mannequins
in the Sears menswear department dress.  Now look at the real
successes, the people who make a lot more money than you -- Elton John,
Captain Kangaroo, anybody from Saudi Arabia, Big Bird, and so on.  They
all dress funny -- and they all succeed.  Are you catching on?
		-- Dave Barry, "How to Dress for Real Success"
%%
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success
is sure.
                                -- Mark Twain
%%
All you need to be a fisherman is patience and a worm.
-- Herb Shriner
%%
All you need to grow fine vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.
%%
All your people must learn before you can reach for the stars.
    -- Kirk, "The Gamesters of Triskelion," stardate 3259.2.
%%
Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom
we cannot resemble.
                                -- Samuel Johnson
%%
Almost anything derogatory you could say about todays's software
design would be accurate.
                                 -- Kenneth E. Iverson
%%
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
                                -- Agnes Allen
%%
Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically
deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone
believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.
                                -- Sydney J. Harris
%%
Almost perfect symmetry on the scoreboard: the 4 and the 3 on the
left.  If they had been the same it would have been perfect.
-- Don Maskell
%%
"A loaf of bread", the Walrus said, "is what we chiefly need."
%%
A lobbyist's pagoda is build on a foundation of night soil.
				-- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981
%%
Alone, adj.:
	In bad company.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%%
Alone: In bad company.
-- Foolish Dictionary
%%
... aloneness.  You are so alone.  You live out your lives in the
shell of flesh, self-contained, separate.  How lonely you are; how
terribly lonely.
    -- Kollos, the Medusan Ambassador (through Spock), "Is There In
%%
A long dispute means both parties are wrong.
                                -- Voltaire
%%
A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon.  Buy the negatives at any
price.
%%
A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never.
%%
A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I.
I believe everything positively stinks.
-- Lew Col
%%
A lot of what appears to be progress is just so much technological
rococo.
                                -- Bill Gray
%%
A lover has all the good points and all the bad points which are
locking in a husband.
-- Honore de Balzac, The Physiology of Marriage, 1829
%%
A lover's like a hunter -- if the game be got with too much ease he
cares not for't.
                                -- Mead
%%
A lover teaches a wife all that her husband has concealed from
her.
-- Honore de Balzac
%%
Already another one to take his place. It never ends.
He could have killed you, he didn't. Maybe the end begins with one boy
putting down his gun.
    -- Alexana Devos and Riker, "The High Ground", stardate 43510.7
%%
Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
%%
Alternate rest and labor long endure.
                                -- Ovid
%%
Although a Canadian, Mario Martinez is, in fact, an Italian.
-- Ted Lowe, BBC2 Snooker
%%
Although he isn't as good as he was two years ago, now he's even
better!
-- Commentator, Superbowl, Channel 4
%%
Although mem flatter themselves with their great actions, they are
usually the result of chance and not of design.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
Although men flatter themselves with their great actions, they are not
so often the result of a great design as of chance.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
Although the moon is smaller than the earth, it is farther away.
%%
Although this sentence begins with the word "because", it is
false.
Douglas R Hofstadter
%%
Although today there are many trial marriages, there is no such thing as
a trial child.
                                -- Gary Wills
%%
Although we modern persons tend to take our electric lights, radios,
mixers, etc., for granted, hundreds of years ago people did not have
any of these things, which is just as well because there was no place
to plug them in.  Then along came the first Electrical Pioneer,
Benjamin Franklin, who flew a kite in a lighting storm and received a
serious electrical shock.  This proved that lighting was powered by the
same force as carpets, but it also damaged Franklin's brain so severely
that he started speaking only in incomprehensible maxims, such as "A
penny saved is a penny earned."  Eventually he had to be given a job
running the post office.
		-- Dave Barry, "What is Electricity?"
%%
Although written many years ago, Lady Chatterley's Lover has just been
reissued by the Grove Press, and this pictorial account of the
day-to-day life of an English gamekeeper is full of considerable
interest to outdoor minded readers, as it contains many passages on
pheasant-raising, the apprehending of poachers, ways to control vermin,
and other chores and duties of the professional gamekeeper.
Unfortunately, one is obliged to wade through many pages of extraneous
material in order to discover and savour those sidelights on the
management of a midland shooting estate, and in this reviewer's opinion
the book cannot take the place of J. R. Miller's "Practical
Gamekeeping."
				-- Ed Zern, "Field and Stream" (Nov. 1959)
%%
Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones
who will be writing about you.
 - Cyril Connolly, "Journal and Memoir" 1983
%%
Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it.
Irene Peter
%%
Always be suspicious of an associate who never finds fault with you.
%%
Always borrow from a pessimist - He doesn't expect his money back.
-- In a savings bank in New York
%%
Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid
back.
%%
Always cut the cards.
%%
Always distrust offices not under your jurisdiction which say that they
are there to serve you.  "Support" offices in a bureaucracy tend to grow
in size and make demands on you out of proportion to their service and
in the end require more effort on your part than their service is worth.
                                -- Douglas Evelyn
%%
Always do right.  This will gratify some people, and astonish the
rest.
%%
Always do what you are afraid to do.
 - Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Always draw your curves, then plot the readings.
%%
Always give your people the credit that is rightfully theirs.  To do
otherwise is both morally and ethically dishonest.
%%
Always listen to experts.  They'll tell you what can't be done, and why.
Then do it.
                                -- Lazarus Long
%%
Always pick on the correct idiom.
%%
Always pray that your opposition be wicked.  In wickedness, there is a
strong strain toward rationality.  Therefore, there is always the
possibility, in theory, of handling the wicked by outthinking them.
                                -- Marion J. Levy, Jr.
%%
Always remember that you are unique.  Just like everyone else.
%%
"Always remember, the Russians are fantastic chess players, and I
suspect Mr.  Gorbachev has still quite a few cards left in his
hand."
-- Jacques Darras, Radio 4
%%
Always rise from the table with an appetite, and you will never sit down
without one.
                                -- William Penn
%%
Always run a yellow light.
%%
Always set your alarm clock early, that way you can oversleep
longer!!
%%
Always sort the small file first.
                                -- Dick Munroe
%%
Always stay in with the outs.
                                -- David Halberstan
%%
Always store beer in a dark place.
%%
Always tell a woman she's beautiful, especially if she isn't.
%%
Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.
%%
Always tell him he is handsome, especially if he is not.
%%
Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.
%%
Always try to exhort others to look upon you favorably.
%%
Always verify your witchcraft.
%%
A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
-- Science exam paper
%%
A malfunction...emotional awareness.
    -- Picard about Lal, "The Offspring", stardate 43657.0
%%
  A manager, name of ....
  Was sent to quash some revolts;
    Up Tewksbury way,
   Where, I would say,
  He could tell the nuts from the dolts.
%%
A man and a woman marry because both of them don't know what to do
with themselves.
-- Anton Chekhov
%%
A man, a plan, a canal.  Suez!
%%
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more
than he can chew.
                                -- Herb Caen
%%
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
A man can have two, maybe three, love affairs while he's married.
But three is the absolute maximum.  After that you're cheating.
-- Yves Montand
%%
A man can never quite understand a boy, even when he has been a boy.
                                -- Gilbert K. Chesterson
%%
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. -- Oscar Wilde
%%
A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
                                -- Butler
%%
A man devoid of religion, is like a horse without a bridle.
%%
A man either lives life as it happens to him, meets it head-on
and licks it, or he turns his back on it and starts to wither away.
    -- Dr. Boyce, "The Menagerie" ("The Cage"), stardate unknown.
%%
A man feared that he might find an assassin;
Another that he might find a victim.
One was more wise than the other.
 - Stephan Crane, "The Black Riders and Other Lines",
 1895
%%
A man forgives only when he is in the wrong.
%%
	A man goes to a tailor to try on a new custom-made suit.  The
first thing he notices is that the arms are too long.
	"No problem," says the tailor.  "Just bend them at the elbow
and hold them out in front of you.  See, now it's fine."
	"But the collar is up around my ears!"
	"It's nothing.  Just hunch your back up a little ... no, a
little more ... that's it."
	"But I'm stepping on my cuffs!" the man cries in desperation.
	"Nu, bend you knees a little to take up the slack.  There you
go.  Look in the mirror -- the suit fits perfectly."
	So, twisted like a pretzel, the man lurches out onto the
street.  Reba and Florence see him go by.
	"Oh, look," says Reba, "that poor man!"
	"Yes," says Florence, "but what a beautiful suit."
		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
%%
A man has no more right to say an uncivil thing, than to act one; no
more right to say a rude thing to another, than to knock him down.
                                -- Johnson
%%
A man he seems of cheerful yesterdays and confident tomorrows.
                                -- Wordsworth
%%
A man in love is incomplete until he has married - then he's
finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
%%
10.  A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Murphy's Law on Sex
%%
A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman as bad as she
dares.
Elbert Hubbard
%%
A man is never astonished that he doesn't know what another does, but he
is surprised at the gross ignorance of the other in not knowing what he
does.
                                -- Haliburton
%%
A man is never drunk if he can lay his hands on the floor without
holding on.
-- Joe E Lewis
%%
A man is never drunk if he can lie on the floor without holding
on.
-- Joe E.  Lewis
%%
A man is not old as long as he is seeking something.
                                -- Jean Rostand
%%
51.  A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
-- Murphy's Law on Sex
%%
A man is too apt to forget that in this world he cannot have
everything.  A choice is all that is left to him.
                                -- H. Matthews
%%
A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his
cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.
                                -- Israel Zangwill
%%
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to
be bothered with sexm and all that sort of thing.
-- W.  Somerset Maugham
%%
A man may be completely truthful about the number of times he has
had sex, but never about his endurance.
				-- John Francis Putnam (1964)
%%
A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who believes there is no
virtue or truth but on his own side.
                                -- Joseph Addison
%%
A man must first govern himself ere he be fit to govern a family, and
his family ere he be fit to bear the government in the commonwealth.
                                -- Sir Walter Raliegh
%%
A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy.
%%
A man needs a wife because, sooner or later, something is bound to
happen that he can't blame on the Government.
-- Notice in a marraige-guidance bureau
%%
A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes
another's.
                                -- Jean Paul Richter
%%
A man of action, forced into a state of thought, is unhappy until he can
get out of it.
                                -- Galsworthy
%%
A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.
%%
A man's action is only a picture book of his creed.
                                -- Emerson
%%
A man said to the universe, "Sir, I exist."  "However," replied the
universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."
                                -- Stephen Crane
%%
A man's delight in looking forward to and hoping for some particular
satisfaction is a part of the pleasure flowing out of it, enjoyed in
advance. But that is afterward decided, for the more we look forward to
anything the less we enjoy it when it comes.
                                -- Arthur Schopenhauer
%%
A man's dying is more the survivors' affair than his own.
                                -- Thomas Mann
%%
A man's errors are what makes him amiable.
                                -- Goethe
%%
A man's feet should be planted in his country,
but his eyes should survey the world.
 - George Santayana
%%
A man's friends like him but leave him as he is: his wife loves
him and is always trying to turn him into somebody else.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
A man's good breeding is the best security against another's bad
manners.
                                -- Chesterfield
%%
A man's got to know his limitations.
 - Clint Eastwood in "Magnum Force", 1973
%%
A man should be careful never to tell tales of himself to his own
disadvantage; people may be amused, and laugh at the time, but they will
be remembered, and brought up against him upon some subsequent occasion.
                                -- Johnson
%%
A man should be greater than some of his parts.
%%
A man should choose a woman and an ox from his own country.
%%
A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is
but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was
yesterday.
                                -- Pope
%%
A man should not allow himself to hate even his enemies, because if you
indulge this passion on some occasions, it will rise of itself in
others; if you hate your enemies, you will contract such a vicious habit
of mind, as by degrees will break out upon those who are your friends,
or those who are indifferent to you.
                                -- Plutarch
%%
A man's
house is his hassle.
%%
A man's legs must be long enough to reach the ground.
                                -- Abraham Lincoln
%%
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
-- Groucho Marx
%%
A man's reputation is the opinion people have of him; his character is
what he really is.
                                -- Jack Miner
%%
Amans tam erat lie sing hero ad digito ut mando.
%%
A man to carry on a successful business must have imagination.  He must
see things as in a vision, a dream of the whole thing.
                                -- Charles M. Schwab
%%
A manuscript for a market in which no textbooks currently exist will be
followed two weeks after contracting by an announcement of an identical
book by your closest competitor.
%%
A man who can't mind his own business is not to be trusted with the
king's.
                                -- Saville
%%
A man who checks out of the express lane with seven items is the same
man who will wear Supp-Hose and park in the Reserved for Handicapped
spaces.
                                -- Erma Bombeck
%%
A man who cries is capable of any evil.
%%
A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in
Etruscan bonds.
%%
A man who is always forgetting his best intentions may be said to be a
thoroughfare of good resolutions.
                                -- Mrs. Jameson
%%
A man who is always ready to believe what is told him will never do well.
 - Gaius Petronius, "Satyricon"
%%
A man who is always satisfied with himself is seldom satisfied with
others.
                                -- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
%%
A man who knows the world will not only make the most of everything he
does know, but of many things that he does not know; and will gain more
credit by his adroit mode of hiding his ignorance than the pendant by
his awkward attempt to exhibit his erudition.
                                -- Colton
%%
A man who moralises is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who
moralizes is invariably plain.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
A man who studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.
                                -- Francis Bacon
%%
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
%%
A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights.
 - Napoleon, "Maxims" 1804-1815
%%
A man with an erection is in no need of advice.
-- Italian Proverb
%%
A man with 3 buttocks.
%%
A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is
never sure.
%%
A man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle.
%%
A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
%%
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
%%
A married man sho wants to conceal his drunken infidelities can easily
wake up in the morning wondering who he's lying next to.
%%
  A Master of Art
  Is not worth a fart.
				-- Andrew Boorde (1490?-1549)
%%
A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
%%
A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems.
 - Paul Erds
%%
A mathematician named Hall
Has a hexahedronical ball,
	And the cube of its weight
	Times his pecker's, plus eight
Is his phone number -- give him a call..
%%
  A mathematician named Klein
  Thought the Mobius band was divine.
     Said he, "If you glue
     The edges of two,
  You'll get a weird bottle like mine!
%%
AMAZING BUT TRUE...  If all the salmon caught in Canada in one
year were laid end to end across the Sahara Desert, the smell
would be absolutely awful.
%%
 AMAZING BUT TRUE...  There is so much sand in Northern Africa
that if it were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara
Desert.
%%
Ambidextrous: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or
a left.
-- Foolish Dictionary
%%
Ambidextrous, adj.:
	Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%%
Ambidextrous instructors will erase with one hand while writing with the
other.
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
Ambition a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
%%
Ambition has one heel nailed in well, though she stretch her fingers to
touch the heavens.
                                -- William Lilly
%%
Ambition, idly vain; revenge and malice swell her train.
                                -- Penrose
%%
Ambition is a lust that is never quenched, but grows more inflamed and
madder by enjoyment.
                                -- Thomas Otway
%%
Ambition is a lust that's never quenched, grows more inflamed, and
madder by enjoyment.
                                -- Otway
%%
  Ambition is an idol, on whose wings
  Great minds are carried only to extreme;
  To be sublimely great or to be nothing.
                                -- Southey
%%
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
-- Charlie McCarthy
%%
Ambition is like love, impatient both of delays and rivals.
                                -- Denham
%%
Ambition is not a vice of little people.
                                -- Michel de Montaigne
%%
Ambition is so powerful a passion in the human breast, that however high
we reach we are never satisfied.
                                -- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
Ambition is the germ from which all growth of nobleness proceeds.
                                -- Thomas Dunn English
%%
Ambition is the last refuge of failure.
                                -- Oscar Wilde
%%
Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Ambition, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while
living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
                                -- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Ambition often puts men upon doing the mesaest offices:  so climbing is
performed in the same posture with creeping.
                                -- Jonathan Swift
%%
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff.
                                -- William Shakespeare
%%
Ambition's like a circle on the water, which never ceases to enlarge
itself, 'till by broad spreading it disperse to nought.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Ambition:  The dropsy'd thirst of empire, wealth or fame.
                                -- Nugent
%%
Ambition:  The glorious frailty of the noble mind.
                                -- Hoole
%%
Ambition usually progresses through the following stages:  to be like
Dad ... to be a millionaire ... to make enough to pay the bills ... to
hang on long enough to draw a pension.
%%
"AMDAC?" asked the disgruntled FE.
%%
A mediocre season for Nelson Piquet as he is now known and always
has been.
-- Murray Walker
%%
A meeting is a place where people get together to talk about what they
should be doing.
%%
A meeting lasts at least 1 1/2 hours however short the agenda.
                                -- Denys Parsons
%%
A member of your family will soon do something that will make you proud.
%%
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect
the writer.
-- Dean Acheson
%%
America - a country that has leapt from barbarism to decadence
without touching civilisation in between.
-- John O'Hara
%%
America ... a great social and economic experiment, noble in motive and
far- reaching in purpose.
                                -- Herbert Hoover
%%
America has believed that in differentiation, not in uniformity, lies
the path of progress.  It acted on this belief; it has advanced human
happiness, and it has prospered.
                                -- Louis D. Brandeis
%%
America has meant to the world a land in which the common man who means
well and is willing to do his part has access to all the necessary means
of a good life.
                                -- Alvin Saunders Johnson
%%
America is a country of young men.
                                -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
America is a country that can choke on a gnat, or swallow tigers.
                                -- Adlai E. Stevenson
%%
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room.  Every time it
wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.
                                -- Arnold Joseph Toynbee
%%
America is not a mere body of traders; it is a body of free men.  Our
greatness is built upon our freedom -- is moral, not material.  We have
a great ardor for grain; but we have a deep passion for the rights of
man.
                                -- Woodrow Wilson
%%
America is not merely a nation but a nation of nations.
                                -- Lyndon B. Johnson
%%
America is the country where you buy a lifetime's supply of asprin
for one dollar and use it in two weeks.
-- John Barrymore
%%
America is the only country left where we teach languages so that no
pupil can speak them.
                                -- John Erskine
%%
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence
without passing through civilisation in between.
-- OSCAR WILDE
%%
America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone
directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of
civilization.
                                -- Georges Clemenceau
%%
America lives in the heart of every man everywhere who wishes to find a
region where he will be free to work out his destiny as he chooses.
                                -- Woodrow Wilson
%%
America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from
barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.
-- John O'Hara
%%
American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.
                                -- Ed Howe
%%
Americans are an energetic, ingenious, creative people.  One index to
this fact is that since the establishment of the patent system in 1836,
there have been more than 3-3/4 million patents issued.
%%
Americans have always attached particular value to the word "neighbor."
While the spirit of neighborliness was important on the frontier because
neighbors were so few, it is even more important now because our
neighbors are so many.
                                -- Lady Bird Johnson
%%
Americans like fat books and thin women
-- Russel Baker
%%
American:  "The poor man was killed by a revolving crane."

Englishman:  "My, what fierce birds you have in America."
%%
America's best buy for a nickel is a telephone call to the right man.
        			-- outdated
%%
America! the land of the Chrysler 440 cubic inch engine!
%%
  America, thou half-brother of the world;
  With something good and bad of every land.
                                -- Philip James Bailey
%%
America was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci and was named after him,
until people got tired of living in a place called "Vespuccia" and
changed its name to "America".
		-- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
%%
A method of solution is perfect if we can forsee from the start,
and even prove, that following that method we shall attain our aim.
                                -- Leibnitz
%%
Amid a multitude of projects, no plan is devised.
Syrus
%%
Am I late?  Did I miss the fight?  En garde!
    -- Holo-Riker, "Hollow Puruits,"  stardate 43807.4.
%%
A military disaster may produce a better postwar situation than victory.
                                -- Shimon Tzabar
%%
A mind content both crown and kingdom is.
                                -- Greene
%%
A mind is a wonderful thing to waste.
%%
A minor operation: one performed on somebody else.
-- Foolish Dictionary
%%
A misguided platypus will lay its eggs in your shorts.
%%
A missionary is a person who teaches cannibals to say grace before
they eat him.
%%
A mistress should be like a little country retreat near the town;
not to dwell in constantly, but only for a night and away!
-- William Wycherley
%%
A mixture of admiration and pity is one of the surest recipes for
affection.
-- Adre Maurois
%%
Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it.
%%
A modest man is usually admired - if people ever hear of him.
-- Edgar Watson Howe
%%
A momentary moment of slackness...
-- BBC Radio Solent
%%
Among civilized nations reason has always been an
occupational hazard.
Anon
%%
Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women,
intimacy sometimes results in sex.
-- Barbara Cartland
%%
Among mortals second thoughts are wisest.
                                -- Euripides
%%
Amongst other advantages, a rolling stone gathers no moss.
%%
Among the damned, you are the chosen one.
%%
Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
%%
Among the porcupines, rape is unknown.
-- Gregory Clark
%%
Among the things that money can't buy is what it used to.
-- Max Kauffmann
%%
Among twenty snowy mountains the only moving thing was the eye of the
black bird.
%%
A monied aristocracy in our country ... has already set the government
at defiance.
                                -- Thomas Jefferson
%%
A moose once bit my sister.
%%
"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a
good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious
scruples and the police."
		-- Mr. Dooley
%%
Amor Vincit Omnia (Love conquers all)
-- Virgil
%%
  A mother is a mother still,
  The holiest thing alive.
                                -- Coleridge
%%
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
%%
A motor will rotate in the wrong direction.
-- Murphy's law
%%
Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.
 - Alexander Pope
%%
Amusements to virtue are like breezes of air to the flame -- gentle ones
will fan it, but strong ones will put it out.
                                -- David Thomas
%%
Amusement:  the happiness of those who cannot think.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Amusement to an observing mind is study.
                                -- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
	A musician of more ambition than talent composed an elegy at
the death of composer Edward MacDowell.  She played the elegy for the
pianist Josef Hoffman, then asked his opinion.  "Well, it's quite
nice," he replied, but don't you think it would be better if ..."
	"If what?" asked the composer.
	"If ... if you had died and MacDowell had written the elegy?"
%%
A mutated, superior man could also be a wonderful thing ... the
forerunner of a new and better kind of human being!
    -- Dr. Elizabeth Dehaver, "Where No Man Has Gone Before,"
%%
A muth once bit my sister.
%%
A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
 - James Feibleman, "Understanding Philosophy", 1973
%%
An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he
neither hot nor timid.
                                -- Chesterfield
%%
An abstract term is like a valise with a false bottom, you may put in it
what ideas you please, and take them out again, without being observed.
%%
An "acceptable level of unemployment" simply means that the government
economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
%%
An accountant is a man hired to explain that you didn't make the
money you did.
%%
An actor is a sculptor who carves in snow.
                                -- Lawrence Barrett
%%
An adult is a deteriorated child.
Anon.
%%
  An air traffic robot named Speigal
  Brought down an American eagle,
    A perfectly darling
    Little brown starling,
  And Jonathon Livingston Seagul.
                                -- G. A. Mason
%%
An A is easily obtained if a student calls his instructor "Professor."
                                -- M. M. Johnston
%%
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you
do.
-- Dylan Thomas
%%
An American Fascist seeking power would not proclaim that he is a fascist.
Fascism always camoulfages its plans and purposes. ... Any fascist attempt
made to gain power in America would not use the exact Hitler pattern.  It
would work under the guise of "super-patriotism" and "super-Americanism".
Fascist leaders are neither stupid nor naive.  They know that they must hand
out a line that "sells".  Huey Long is said to have remarked that if Fascism
came to America it would be on a program of "Americanism".
				-- U. S. Army (1945)
%%
An American is a person who demonstrates against a new power plant, then
goes home and flips on all the lights, turns up the air conditioner,
puts a tape in the stereo, opens the refrigerator door, plugs in the
coffee maker and sits down to see if the television cameras caught him
protesting.
                                -- Wendell Trogdon
%%
An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize the President but
is always polite to traffic cops.
%%
An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason.
                                -- Publius Syrus
%%
An angry man opens his mouth and shuts up his eyes.
                                -- Cato
%%
An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard only
one side of the case.  God has written all the books.
%%
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it will eat him
last.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone
away.
%%
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.  The older
she gets, the more interest he takes in her.
-- Agatha Christie
%%
Anarchists unite!
%%
An architect fellow named Yoric
Could, when feeling euphoric,
	Display for selection
	Three kinds of erection --
Corinthian, ionic, and doric.
%%
Anarchy is better that no government at all.
%%
Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better
than no government at all.
%%
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
An argument is where two people are trying to get the LAST word in
FIRST!
-- On notice-board of a college debating hall
%%
An Army travels on her stomach.
%%
A narrow mind begets obstinacy, and we do not easily believe what we
cannot see.
                                -- Dryden
%%
An artist cannot speak about his art any more than a plane can discuss
horticulture.
                                -- Jean Cocteau
%%
An artist should be fit for the best society and kept out of it.
%%
An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.
-- John Buchan
%%
An atheist is a
man with no invisible means of support.
%%
An atheist is but a mad, ridiculous derider of piety, but a hypocrite
makes a sober jest of God and religion; he finds it easier to be upon
his knees than to rise to a good action.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
An athiest is a man who has no invisible means of support.
                                -- Fulton J Sheen
%%
An athiest is one hopes the Lord will do nothing to disturb his
disbelief.
                                -- Franklin P. Jones
%%
A nation may lose its liberties in a day and not miss them in a century.
                                -- Baron de Montesquieu
%%
An atom blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.
%%
Anatomy section closed due to strike.  Skeleton service available.
-- On a medical college notice-board at Edinburgh
%%
An attorney was defending his client against a charge of first-degree
murder.  "Your Honor, my client is accused of stuff his lover's
mutilated body into a suitcase and heading for the Mexican border.
Just north of Tijuana a cop spotted her hand sticking out of the
suitcase.  Now, I would like to stress that my client is *___not* a
murderer.  A sloppy packer, maybe..."
%%
An author ought to write for the youth of his own
generation, the critics of the next, and the schoolmaster of
ever afterwards.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
%%
  An author owned an asterisk
  And kept it in his den
  Where he wrote tales which had large sales
  Of erring maids and men,
  And always, when he reached the point
  Where carping censors lurk,
  He called upon the asterisk
  To do his dirty work!
%%
An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last
instalment missing.
-- Quentin Crisp
%%
Anchovies?  You've got the wrong man!  I spell my name DANGER!  (click)
%%
Ancient Chinese Curse: May you live in interesting times.
%%
And again the game's turned round on it's head.
-- Trevor Brooking, BBC1
%%
And Alex has literally come back from the dead.
-- Ted Lowe
%%
And Arsenal have plenty of time to dictate these last few seconds.
-- Peter Jones
%%
And a shame that anybody who didn't turn up wasn't there.
-- Tony Blackburn
%%
And at number five, down seven places, the Gibson Brothers.
-- Kid Jensen
%%
And at the end of the season you can only do as well as what you
have done.
-- Bryan Robson
%%
And be sure that history never forgets the name --- Enterprise.
    -- Picard, "Yesterday's Enterprise."
%%
"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest
unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine
bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits,
provideth that they are nice and fresh.'"
		-- Dave Barry, "Getting Religion"
%%
And Brian Hooper will have that recurring dream again and again...
-- Ron Pickering
%%
And Clive Norling, running backwards, just like a football
referee, looking forwards to make sure nothing untoward was
happening behind him.
-- Bill MacLaren, BBC1
%%
...  and Dickie Bird standing there with his neck between his
shoulders.
-- Brian Johnston, Radio 2
%%
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
%%
And Dusty Hare kicked 19 of the 17 points.
-- David Coleman
%%
...and England win by a solitary nine runs.
-- Frank Bough
%%
And for those of you watching who haven't television sets, live
commentary is on Radio 2.
-- David Coleman
%%
And for those who want to deal in metric that's a girth of 22 feet
and a height of about 230 feet.
-- David Bellamy
%%
And GOD said "Let there be light", and there was light, and GOD
saw that is was good, and put the bloody electricity bill up by 4
pence a unit.
%%
And Griffiths has looked at that blue four times now, and it still
hasn't moved.
-- Ted Lowe
%%
And Harvey Smith is on the phone now and I think that means he's
on the phone.
-- Raymond Brookes-Ward
%%
And he can't afford to be beaten because, if he is, he'll be
beaten.
-- Tony Gubba
%%
And he gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two ears of
corn, or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground, where only
one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do mote essential
service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.
                                -- Jonathon Swift
%%
And here I stand; judge, my masters.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
  And here, poor fool, with all my lore
  I stand no wiser than before.
                                -- Johann W. von Goethe
%%
And here's another clue for you all:  The walrus was Paul.
%%
And he's got the guts to score runs when the crunch is down.
-- John Murray
%%
And how can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue
caught in the roller of an electric typewriter.
-- Woody Allen
%%
And how long have you had this lifelong ambition?
-- Gary Davis
%%
And I alone am returned to wag the tail.
%%
And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was,
how much was mine to keep.
                                -- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
%%
And I honestly believe that we can go all the way to Wembley...
unless somebody knocks us out.
-- Dave Bassett
%%
And I suppose, per head of population, a really tremendous ovation
from this crowd...
-- Tom Gravenby, BBC
%%
And I think Valentino would have suffered the same death had he
lived.
-- King Vidor
%%
And it's exactly 9 minutes past 9 - and that doesn't happen very
often.
-- Douglas Moffat
%%
And I will instruct you on Enterprise etiquette.
    -- Worf to Mendon, "A Matter of Honor", stardate 42506.5
%%
...  and I wouldn't like to be sitting in Alain Prost's shoes
right now.
-- Barry Sheen, Channel 9, Australia
%%
... and living was just a way of passing time until he died.
                                -- Hamish Sankov
%%
...And malt does more than Milton can to justify God's ways to man
-- A.  E.  Housman
%%
And Meade had a hat trick.  He scored two goals.
-- Richard Whitmore
%%
And microbrain. Growl for me. Let me know you still care.
    -- Q to Worf, "Q-Who?", stardate 42761.3
%%
And next week we have the Brazilian Grand Prix, which is in
Brazil.
-- BBC World Service
%%
And now abideth faith, hope and charity, these three; but the greatest
of these is charity.
                                -- I Corinthians
%%
And now, a personal request, sir. Permission to clean up the bridge.
    -- Lt. Worf to Picard about Q, "Encounter at Farpoint",
%%
And now for something completely different.
%%
And now here's Father Raymond Brennan - a priest who has been
literally a father to hundreds of children.
-- Anne Diamond, TV-am
%%
And now Jacques Laffitte is as close to Surer as Surer is to
Laffitte
-- Murray Walker
%%
And now, the familiar sight of Liverpool raising the League Cup
for the first time.
-- Brian Moore
%%
And now the formalities are over, we'll have the National Anthems.
-- Brian Moore
%%
And now to hole eight which is in fact, the eighth hole.
-- Peter Alliss
%%
And now to the subjects of law, and international law - subjects
usually as dry as ditchwater.
-- Joan Bakewell
%%
... and oftener changed their principles than their shirts.
                                -- Dr. Young
%%
  And oftentimes, excusing of a fault,
  Doth make a fault the worse by the excuse;
  As patches set upon a little breach,
  Discredit more in hiding of the fault,
  Than did the fault before it was so patch'd.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
And, on the eve of the Bob Hope Classic...an interview with the
man himself, Gerry Ford.
-- Jim Rosenthal
%%
And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.
%%
And our next race is the next race.
-- David Coleman
%%
Andrew's Canoeing Postulate:  No matter which direction you start, it's
always against the wind coming back.
%%
And Ritchie has now scored 11 goals, exactly double the number he
scored last season.
-- Alan Parry
%%
And science, we should insist, better than any other discipline, can
hold up to its students and followers an ideal of patient devotion to
the search for objective truth, with vision unclouded by personal or
political motive.
                                -- Sir Henry Hallett Dalt
%%
And she finally tastes the sweet smell of success.
-- Ian Edwards
%%
And some of the fireworks will go whizz-bang, and some will go
bang-whizz.
-- Alastari Burnett
%%
And somewhat surprisingly Cambridge have won the toss.
-- Harry Carpenter
%%
And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you;
ask what you can do for your country.
 - John F.  Kennedy, Inaugural Address, 20 January 1961
%%
And so to bed.
-- Samuel Pepys
%%
And so Tottenham in the last two years have never left London; but
now they've been drawn away from home to meet Chelsea.
-- Brian Butler
%%
And 1st division Luton have haunted themselves with their own
play.
-- Tony Gubba, BBC1
%%
And thanks too for the signed autograph.
-- Tony Blackburn
%%
And that angered you did it: "seized my vessel, seized my vessel"...
These are the complaints of a closed mind to accustomed to
military privileges.
    -- Q, "Hide and Q," stardate 41590.5.
%%
And that's a self-portrait of himself, by himself.
-- Richard Madeley
%%
And that's what happens when two immovable objects meet.
-- Ray French
%%
And that was CCS Society - so much easier to pronounce than say.
-- David Jensen
%%
...and the crowd are absolutely standing up.
-- Alan Weeks
%%
And the gap, which was just under five seconds, is now just over
four.
-- Murray Walker, BBC2
%%
And the hourglass ticking off the seconds.
-- Waldemar Januszczak
%%
...and their manager, Terry Neil, isn't here today, which suggests
he is elsewhere.
-- Brian Moore
%%
And the line up for the final of the Women's 400 metres hurdles
includes three Russians, two East Germans, a Pole, a Swede and a
Frenchman.
-- David Coleman
%%
And the mile once again becomes the focal point where it's always
been.
-- Ron Pickering
%%
And the news from Guadalajara, where the temperature is a
staggering 96 degrees, is that Falcao is warming up.
-- Brian Moore
%%
... And then there's the guy who bought 20,000 bras, cut them in half,
and sold 40,000 yamalchas with chin straps ...
%%
And the race is all about first, second and third.
-- Hamilton Bland.
%%
And there he is sitting in exactly the same place on the other
side of the ring.
-- Harry Carpenter (Boxing Commentator), BBC1
%%
And there he was, reigning suprememe at number two.
-- Alan Freeman
%%
And there's hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut.
%%
And there's Kenney, who at times looks almost like his double.
-- Nigel Starmer-Smith
%%
And there's no 'I love you' message, because Steve Ovett has
managed the girl.
-- David Coleman
%%
And there's the Victoria Memorial, built as a memorial to Victoria.
-- David Dimbleby
%%
And there you see Seb Coe preparing for our first sight of him.
-- Jim Rosenthal
%%
And the second goal was a blueprint of the first.
-- Bryon Butler
%%
And these small projections?
An android alarm clock. Is that amusing?
    -- Dr. Crusher and Data, "Datalore", stardate 41242.4
%%
And the time left in clock terms is about five minutes.
-- Archie McPherson
%%
...and the winner is the winner.
-- David Coleman
%%
And they haven't got replacements for Hall, even among the
replacements.
-- Bill McLaren
%%
And they're off!
%%
And they shamelessly clothe their females. Inviting others to unclothe
them. The very depth of perversion.
    -- Ferengi to Portal, "The Last Outpost", stardate 41386.4
%%
And they've visibly grown in stature - even the 5ft 6in Ramirez.
-- Alan Parry, ITV (World Cup 1990)
%%
And this is a table ma'am.  What in essence it consists of is a
horizontal rectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical
columnar supports, which we call legs.  The tables in this laboratory,
ma'am, are as advanced in design as one will find anywhere in the
world.
		-- Michael Frayn, "The Tin Men"
%%
And though all cry down self, none means his ownself in a literal sense.
                                -- Butler
%%
And thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
And today will go down in history as January 17 1991.
-- Classic Gold Radio (Pennine)
%%
And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.
%%
...and tonight we have the added ingredient of Kenny Dalglish not
being here.
-- Martin Tyler, Sky
%%
And virtue is her own reward.
                                -- Prior
%%
And Watford acknowledge the support of the crowd indeed of the
crowd that supported them.
-- Barry Davies
%%
And we have just heard, although this is not the latest score from
Bournemouth that Hampshire have beaten Nottinghamshire by nine
wickets.
-- Peter West
%%
And what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love
mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?
%%
  And what is fame, that flutt'ring noisy sound,
  But the cold lie of universal vogue?
                                -- H. Smith
%%
"And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?"
 asked the father of his little son.  "Diet."
%%
And where two raging fires meet together, they do consume the thing that
feeds their fury.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life's span?
 - Matthew 6:27
%%
And Wilkins sends an inch-perfect pass to no one in particular.
-- Bryon Butler
%%
And with 35 minutes gone, it's Barcelona 2, Sofia 1.  Just the
kind of result we were expecting at this stage, except that the
Bulgarians have scored.
-- John Helm
%%
And with 8 minutes left the game could be won or lost in the next
5 or 10 minutes.
-- Jimmy Armfield
%%
And yet I should have dearly liked, I own, to have touched her lips;
to have questioned her, that she might have opened them; to have
looked upon the lashes of her downcast eyes, and never raised a blush;
to have let loose waves of hair, an inch of which would be a keepsake
beyond price:  in short, I should have liked, I do confess, to have
had the lightest license of a child, and yet been man enough to know
its value.
                        -- Charles Dickens
%%
... And yet the true creator is necessity, which is the mother of
invention.
				-- Plato (427-347 B.C.)? "The Republic"
%%
"And you can't get any Watney's Red Barrel, because the bars
close every time you're thirsty..."
%%
And you can't get much further outside the Top Ten than number
eleven.
-- Jimmy Savile
%%
And you can't get nearer the top ten than number twelve
-- Jimmy Savile
%%
And you can't really take your eyes off this game without seeing
something happen.
-- Harry Gration
%%
And you don't resent it? The VISOR or being blind?
Since they are both part of me and I really like who I am, why should
I resent them?
    -- Scholar and Geordi, "Loud as a Whisper", stardate 42477.2
%%
And you may ask yourself "Am I right? ...  Am I wrong?"
And you may say to yourself "MY GOD! ...  WHAT HAVE I DONE?"
 - The Talking Heads
%%
An easy kick for George Fairburn, but as everybody knows, no kicks
are easy.
-- David Doyle-Davidson
%%
A necessary item only goes on sale after you have purchased it at the
regular price.
                                -- Sherry Graditor
%%
An economist is a man who would marry Farrah Fawcett for her money.
                                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
%%
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow
why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
 - Laurence J.  Peter
%%
An editor is one who separates the wheat from the chaff and prints
the chaff.
-- Aldai Stevenson
%%
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
%%
An egg without salt is like a kiss from a beardless man.
%%
A neighbor came to Nasrudin, asking to borrow his donkey.  "It is out
on loan," the teacher replied.  At that moment, the donkey brayed loudly
inside the stable.  "But I can hear it bray, over there."  "Whom do you
believe," asked Nasrudin, "me or a donkey?"
%%
An elephant: a mouse built to government specifications.
%%
An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
%%
"An elephant is like long-term memory"
         -- A blind psychologist
%%
An empty bag cannot win in New York.
                                -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
%%
An engineer is
someone who does list processing in Fortran.
%%
An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.
-- George Mikes
%%
An Englishman, even if he is quite alone, forms an orderly queue
of one.
-- George Mikes
%%
An Englishman is a man who lives on an island in the North Sea
governed by Scotsmen.
-- Phillip Guedella
%%
An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
-- A.  P.  Herbert
%%
An epigram often flashes light into regions where reason shines but
dimly.
                                -- E. P. Whipple
%%
An era can be said to end when its basic illusions are exhausted.
                                -- Arthur Miller
%%
An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think
about it, the harder it gets.
-- Graffiti
%%
Anergy-State:  Any state of condition of the Universe, or any portion of
it, which requires the expenditure of human effort or ingenuity to bring
it into line with human desires, needs, or pleasures.
                                -- Dr. John Gall
%%
An error is the more dangerous in proportion to the degree of truth
which it contains.
				-- Henri Frederic Amiel (1821-1881)
%%
An ethical man is a Christian holding four aces.
-- Mark Twain
%%
An evil, at its birth, is easily crushed, but it grows and strengthens
by endurance.
                                -- Cicero
%%
A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows the corners.
%%
A new cask will long preserve the tincture of the liquor with which it
was first impregnated.
                                -- Horace
%%
A new diet or exercise program can be unusually beneficial for you now.
%%
A new dramatist of the absurd
Has a voice that will shortly be heard.
	I learn from my spies
	He's about to devise
An unprintable three-letter word.
%%
A new idea is delicate.  It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can
be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a frown on the
right man's brow.
                                -- Charlie Brower
%%
A new koan:

	If you have some ice cream, I will give it to you.

	If you have no ice cream, I will take it away from you.

It is an ice cream koan.
%%
A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents, but
rather because its opponents die, and a new generation grows up that is
familiar with it.
                                -- Max Planck
%%
A new supply of round tuits has arrived and are available from Mary.
Anyone who has been putting off work until they got a "round tuit" now
has no excuse for further procrastination.
%%
An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a bull that
gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat.
-- Science exam paper
%%
An excellence-oriented '80s male does not wear a regular watch He wears
a Rolex watch, because it weighs nearly six pounds and is advertised
only in excellence-oriented publications such as Fortune and Rich
Protestant Golfer Magazine.  The advertisements are written in
incomplete sentences, which is how advertising copywriters denote
excellence:

"The Rolex Hyperion.  An elegant new standard in quality excellence and
discriminating handcraftsmanship.  For the individual who is truly able
to discriminate with regard to excellent quality standards of crafting
things by hand.  Fabricated of 100 percent 24-karat gold.  No watch
parts or anything.  Just a great big chunk on your wrist.  Truly a
timeless statement.  For the individual who is very secure.  Who
doesn't need to be reminded all the time that he is very successful.
Much more successful than the people who laughed at him in high
school.  Because of his acne.  People who are probably nowhere near as
successful as he is now.  Maybe he'll go to his 20th reunion, and
they'll see his Rolex Hyperion.  Hahahahahahahahaha."
		-- Dave Barry, "In Search of Excellence"
%%
An exception TESTS a rule; it NEVER proves it.
                                -- Edmund C. Berkeley
%%
An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie; for an excuse is a lie
guarded.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes
him.
%%
"...an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often
picturesque liar."
-- Mark Twain
%%
An experiment is reproducible until another laboratory tries to repeat
it.
                                -- Dr. Alexander Kohn
%%
An experiment may be considered successful if no more than half of
the data must be discarded to obtain agreement with your pet
theory.
-- Guidelines for Successful Engineers
%%
An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes 
which can be made, in a narrow field.
 - Niels Bohr
%%
An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping
on to the grand fallacy.  -- Guidelines for Successful Engineers
%%
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.
 - Nicholas Murray Butler
%%
An expert is someone who can take something you already knew and make it
sound confusing.
%%
An extraordinary haste to discharge an obligation is a sort of
ingratitude.
                                -- La Rochefoucauld
%%
An eye like Mars, to threaten and command.
                                -- Shakespeare
%%
Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
%%
Anger and intolerance are the twin enemies of correct understanding
                                -- Mahatma Ghandi
%%
Anger begins with folly, and ends with repentance.
                                -- H. G. Bohn
%%
Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.
                                -- Robert Green Ingersoll
%%
Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control
you.
                                -- Horace
%%
        3842.2.
Anger is a relative state.
    -- Spock, "Wolf in the Fold," stardate 3615.4.
%%
Anger is as a stone cast into a wasp's nest.
%%
Anger is blood, pour'd and perplexed into a froth.
                                -- Davenant
%%
Anger is seldom without argument but seldom with a good one.
                                -- Halifax
%%
 ANGLE BRACKETS (primarily MIT) n. Either of the characters "<" and
   ">".  See BROKET.
				-- From the AI Hackers' Dictionary
%%
An honest God is the noblest work of man.
%%
An honest God's the noblest work of man.
				-- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
%%
An honest man is the noblest work of God.
%%
An honest politician is one who, when bought, stays bought.
%%
An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.
%%
A nickname is the heaviest stone the devil can throw at a man.
%%
An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
%%
An idea, like a ghost (according to the common notion of a ghost) must
be spoken to a little before it will explain itself.
                                -- Charles Dickens
%%
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than
a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
-- H L Mencken
%%
An idea that is dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at
all.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.
				-- Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
%%
An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
%%
Animals feed; man eats.  Only the man of intellect and judgement knows
how to eat.
                                -- Antheime Brillat-Savarin
%%
"Animals, which move, have limbs and muscles.  The Earth does not
have limbs and muscles; therefore it does not move".
-- Scipio Chiaramonti.
%%
An important instruction manual or operating manual will have been
discarded by the receiving department.
-- Murphy's law
%%
An incompetent traitor is no danger.  It is rather the capable men who
must be watched.
                                -- Brodrig
%%
An independent is a guy who wants to take the politics out of
politics.
-- Adlai Stevenson
%%
...  an individual whose appearance was so repulsive I had to have
my mirrors insured.
-- Miss Piggy
%%
An inexhaustible good nature is one of the most precious gifts of
heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled sea of thought, and
keeping the mind smooth and equable in the roughest weather.
                                -- Washington Irving
%%
An inexorable upward movement leads administrators to higher salaries
and narrower spans of control.
                                -- David Riesman
%%
An inexperienced female kisser: Where do the noses go? I always
wondered where the noses would go?
-- Ernest Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls, 1940
%%
An infallible method of conciliating a tiger
is to allow oneself to be devoured.
Konrad Adenauer
%%
An instantaneous power-supply crowbar circuit will operate too
late.
-- Murhpy's law
%%
An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to
tell more than he knows.
-- On a notice board at Cambridge University
%%
"An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself"
-- - Camus -
%%
An intelligence test often shows how smart one would have
been not to take it.
%%
An interesting morning, full of interest.
-- Jim Laker
%%
An international crisis is like sex - as long as you keep talking
about it, nothing happens.
-- Notice in a foreign embassy in Paris
%%
An invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my car and vanished.
-- Motor Insurance Claim
%%
A Nixon [is preferable to] a Dean Rusk -- who will be passionately
wrong with a high sense of consistency.
		-- J. K. Galbraith
%%
Ankh if you love Isis.
%%
An oath is a recognizance to heaven, binding us over in the courts
above, to plead to the indictment of our crimes, that those who 'scape
this world should suffer there.
                                -- Sothern
%%
An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.
                                -- David Gerrold
%%
An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
                                -- David Gerrold
%%
An object never serves the same function as its image- or its real
name.
-- RENE MAGRITTE
%%
An object or bit of information most needed will be least
available.
-- Murphy's Law
%%
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
%%
A noble choice, but first ...
%%
A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher
than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself.  The one
produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a
vulgar man aspires.
                                -- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
An obstinate man does not hold opinions, but they hold him.
                                -- Alexander Pope
%%
Anoint: To grease a king or other great functionary already
sufficiently
 slippery.
-- Foolish Dictionary
%%
Anoint, v.:
	To grease a king or other great functionary already
sufficiently slippery.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%%
An old car that served you so well will continue to serve you until you
have just put four new tires under it and then will fall apart.
                                -- Erma Bombeck
%%
	An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity
in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him.
	"Well, zayda, it's sort of like this.  Einstein says that if
you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a minute seems like
an hour.  But if you're sitting with a beautiful woman on your lap, an
hour seems like a minute."
	The old man considers this profound bit of thinking for a
moment and says, "And from this he makes a living?"
		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
%%
A non-vegetarian anti-abortionist is a contradiction in terms.
		--Phyllis Schlafly
%%
Anonymous message between lovers: N.O.R.W.I.C.H.  translation:
(K)Nickers Off Ready When I Come Home.
%%
An optimist believes this to be the best of all possible worlds.
A pessimist fears this to be true.
%%
An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will
be postponed.
Kin Hubbard
%%
an optimist is a guy that has never had much experience
 - Donald R.  Perry Marquis, "archy and mehitabel", 1927
%%
An optimist is a guy who has never had much experience.
Don Marquis
%%
An optimist is a man who marries his secretary, with the idea that
he'll be able to carry on dictating to her!
%%
An optimist is a man who starts a crossword puzzle with a fountain pen.
%%
An optimist is a person who goes to the window every morning and says,
"Good morning, God!"  The pessimist goes to the window every morning and
says, "Good god, morning!"
%%
An optimist is someone who thinks the future is uncertain.
%%
An optimist proclaims that this is the best of all possible worlds, and
a pessimist fears that it is true.
%%
An order that can be misunderstood will be misunderstood.
%%
An original idea can never emerge from a committee in the original.
                                -- Charles P. Boyle
%%
A nose that can see is worth two that can sniff.
                                -- Eugene Ionesco
%%
Another Armenia, Belgium...the weak innocents who always seem to
be located on a natural invasion route.
    -- Kirk, "Errand of Mercy," stardate 3198.4.
%%
Another dream that failed.  There's nothing sadder.
    -- Kirk, "This side of Paradise," stardate 3417.3.
%%
 Another Glitch in the Call
 ------- ------ -- --- ----
 (Sung to the tune of a recent Pink Floyd song.)
%%
Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
%%
Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone.
%%
Another war...must it always be so?  How many comrades have we lost
in this way?...  Obedience.  Duty.  Death, and more death...
    -- Romulan Commander, "Balance of Terror," stardate 1709.2.
%%
An ounce image is worth a pound of performance.  -- The Law of
Projects
%%
An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
%%
An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
 - John Junor
%%
An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.
Proverb
%%
An ounce of performance is worth more than a pound of preachment.
                                -- Elbert Hubbard
%%
An ounce of security is worth a pound of defense.
%%
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a
"Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
                                -- Mahatma Ghandi
%%
An oyster is a fish built like a nut.
-- Foolish Dictionary
%%
		Answers to Last Fortune's Questions:

1.  None.  (Moses didn't have an ark).
2.  Your mother, by the pigeonhole principle.
3.  I don't know.
4.  Who cares?
5.  6 (or maybe 4, or else 3).  Mr. Alfred J. Duncan of Podunk,
    Montana, submitted an interesting solution to Problem 5.
6.  There is an interesting solution to this problem on page 1029 of my
    book, which you can pick up for $23.95 at finer bookstores and
    bathroom supply outlets (or 99 cents at the table in front of
    Papyrus Books).
%%
Antelope freeway--1/4 mile.
%%
An the crowd go wild as they see the shaven head of Hagler enter
the auditorium.  And there he is, hooded...
-- Reg Gutteridge
%%
An there' Ra Clemenc lookin a coo as ever out in the cold.
-- Jimmy Hill
%%
Anthony's Law of Force:
 Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
%%
Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
 Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible
 corner of the workshop.
%%
Anticipated events never live up to expectations.
                                -- Marion J. Levy, Jr.
%%
Anticipation of problems is half the battle.  And the only way to
anticipate is to think.
%%
Anti-Semites -- another name for "failures."
				-- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
%%
Antonym, n.:
	The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
%%
Antonym: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
-- Foolish Dictionary
%%
Ants are so much like human beings as to be an embarrassment.  They farm
fungi, raise aphids as livestock, launch armies into wars, use chemical
sprays to alarm and confuse enemies, capture slaves, engage in child
labor, exchange information ceaselessly.  They do everything but watch
television.
                                -- Lewis Thomas
%%
Ants would starve in your house if ants would come into it.
%%
A nuclear power plant is infinitely safer than eating,
because 300 people choke to death on food every year.
 - Dixy Lee Ray, 1977, quoted from "Loose Talk"
%%
A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.
%%
An ugly carpet will last forever.
                                -- Erma Bombeck
%%
...  an unbiased opinion is always absolutely valueless.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
%%
An unexpectedly easy-to-handle sequence of events will be immediately
followed by an equally long sequence of trouble.
                                -- Charles Phelps
%%
Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling
through the mind.  If encouraged, it cuts
a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Arthur Somers Roche
%%
Anxiety is fear of one's self.
Wilhelm Stekel
%%
Anxiety is interest paid on trouble before it is due.
Dean Inge
%%
Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.
Soren Kierkegaard
%%
Anxiety, n.:
	The first time you can't do it a second time.

Panic, n.:
	The second time you can't do it the first time.
%%
Any argument worth making within the bureaucracy must be capable of
being expressed in a single declarative sentence that is obviously true
once stated.
                                -- John McNaughton
%%
Anybody buying the record can be assured that the pound they pay
will literally go into someone's mouth.
-- Bob Geldof
%%
Anybody can become angry -- that is easy; but to be angry with the right
person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the
right purpose, and in the right way -- that is not within everybody's
power and is not easy.
                                -- Aristotle
%%
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
                                -- George Ade
%%
Anybody has a right to evade taxes if he can get away with it.  No
citizen has a moral obligation to assist in maintaining the government.
%%
Any body of men who believe in hell will persecute whenever they have the
power.				-- Joseph M. McCabe (1867-1957)
%%
Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years
organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.
                                -- David Broder
%%
Anybody who doesn't cut his speed at the sight of a police car is
probably parked.
%%
Anybody who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.
 - W.  C.  Fields
%%
Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the
fire.

